Episode 007: Patrik, 1.5
“A Swedish gay couple adopt what they think is an 18-month-old orphan, only to meet their new son, a 15-year-old homophobic delinquent.”
The film is technically based on a stage production but Ella Lemhagen, the director, wasn’t a fan of the script for the play and so decided to use it as the film's pitch while then building a new story from scratch. During this process, Ella interviewed the first Swedish gay couple given permission to adopt in 2003, and who were still waiting to actually adopt in 2010.
This week we are reviewing Patrik, 1.5, a 2008 Swedish film focused on a gay couple seeking to adopt a child with some surprises in store. Since we have International Family Equality Day this month, why not turn our eyes towards the story of a happily married couple looking to adopt and expand their happy family!
You can either listen to the podcast above, or you can read below for a majority of the transcript of the podcast! Now as always, our discussion will begin with a brief summary of the film followed by spoiler free thoughts and feelings. This will be followed by an in-depth discussion of some of the key plot points that occurred and we will then finish off with my overall rating of the film and a heads up about what we are looking at next time. If you have not had a chance to watch Patrik, 1.5 and don’t want to hear any spoilers, then please feel free to skip the detailed section and listen to it afterwards if you so wish.
I remember having watched this film back when I was in university and am glad to say that it was still fun to watch after a decade. At its core the film is a family drama with comedy throughout, and it’s not always guaranteed such things age well with time, however I was indeed glad to find that I still laughed at the jokes and that it still felt like a realistic portrayal of events a queer family could go through. It’s very much a slice of life rather than fantastical in its story.
The film is an easy watch at only 1 hour 38 minutes and it's a simple premise to follow. Gay couple awaiting to adopt a child, a child they weren’t expecting shows up, and then having to deal with the fallout from that. At no point does the drama feel overblown and it does all seem highly believable in how things play out, so it comes across as quite a realistic look at what could happen to a couple seeking to adopt a child.
In terms of representation, I do like how the main characters of Goran and Sven are portrayed as queer, since it doesn’t necessarily make up a large part of their life and makes sure that they are three dimensional characters who have interests and hobbies outside of just identifying as gay. The main people who feel their being gay is the key characteristic of their character is their fellow neighbours and the adoption agency workers, which does feel quite real since at times it definitely is the case where society focuses on one aspect of a person to try and define them within their boxes, however they then miss out on a whole spectrum of other things that make up that individual.
Not only do we have a realistic gay couple, but they do also have believable historys before they were together. The fact one of them has previously been married and had a child in that relationship gives voice to those queer people that have sometimes either went ahead trying to convince themselves they could be straight if they just went through the motions or those people that aren’t gay until later in their lives as their sexuality changes. It's great to see this represented and it's nice that the ending of this marriage was an amicable one since Eva is still willing to support the couple with old baby clothes and joking about her previous husband with his new partner. It just helps show relationships can end positively and we can still maintain key relationships even as they change over time if we put work into them.
Along with some decent representation, there is also a fair amount of homophobia we see on display from a variety of sources, from the new neighbours that the couple have with a bunch of little microaggressions, to the antics of the neighbourhood children who shout out homo and trash the mailbox. It shows us some of the extra challenges queer people can face when moving to a new neighbourhood and having to not just integrate into a new community, but they also have to fight and challenge preconceptions people hold or have taught to their children.
And the homophobia doesn’t just come from the neighbourhood. Patrick himself is also quite homophobic, telling them not to touch him, calling them homos, and even using the hurtful comment that it would be a shame for a child to live with them since they are paedophiles, using the outdated, false slur that to be gay is to be a paedophile. I think it’s ridiculous that it needs to be said in this day and age, but just so we are all clear, being gay doesn’t make you are a paedophile, and paedophilia is not a sexuality but a psychiatric disorder.
Final Feelings and Recommendation
I would definitely recommend this film to be checked out, especially if you are thinking about starting a family or adopting, since it does act as a nice reminder that the extra person you are bringing into your life is going to be their own person and may test the established relationship of the house. But in the end it is a really heart-warming film about a new family being established.
Overall, I would say this is a 8 out of 10 typos in an adoption form since its quite a humorous situation that actually does help highlight some of the issues of both parenting, and trying to adopt as a queer person when society is still a little hung up on the ‘nuclear family’ idea.
SPOILERS AHEAD
Now, just a reminder that at this point, I will be going into a more detailed analysis of the film which means there will be spoilers! If you haven’t managed to watch Patrik, 1.5 yet and you don’t want anything spoiled, then this is your last chance to avoid the discussion. Or you can go ahead and close the page, go watch the film and then come back afterwards to finish reading. I promise we won’t mind. Still here? Well then, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Near the start of the film while we are at a meeting with the social services, the couple are told that no countries are willing to accept homosexual parents which gives us our systemic view of homophobia. It is an unfortunate fact that when it was filmed, and even now, LGBTQ+ parents are not equal in every country and that even where adoption is allowed, there is still a lot of systemic homophobia that prevents children from finding loving homes. During this conversation the couple do try to break the tension by stating that a Swedish child is fine, and they don’t need to be international, but joke that they don’t want a Danish child in the hopes of brushing off that blatant homophobia. Yet still the system is the system and the worker just says not to get their hopes up. It's frustrating to think that even now there are hundreds or thousands of children stuck in the foster care system being denied the chance of a loving home all because of people’s bigotry and hatred of people just living their own lives.
We have a quick introduction to this couple as they are entering a new period of their lives together. Moving into a new home and neighbourhood, Goran takes up the job as the local doctor, and even discussion on getting a dog while they wait for their child. Yet it's not long before we get the letter stating they have been approved for adopting a child, saying it is Patrik, aged 1.5.
Then we have an early morning start where we have a familiar looking face at the front door, but Sven isn’t sure who they are and assumes they are the new mail boy and invites him in for coffee. While the audience is aware of the situation, we have a bit of a fun moment waiting for the wheels to click for Sven before finally they realise they might have the ‘wrong Patrik’. So it's a quick ride to the social services to find out what the hell is going on!
It’s here we Bureaucracy then starts to rear its lovely head, both by being quite useless in helping the couple figure out what is going on with Patrik and Patrik, as well as telling them to come back on Tuesday when they will open again. So I think we can all totally side with what Sven does when the system acts so pigheaded as he just pushes the person out of the way and accesses the information on the computer to print off for them anyway. I mean really, which one of us hasn’t thought about doing this at some point in our lives?!
We then have some more crisis management with a good mix of drama and comedy. From saying they need to sleep in shifts in case he assaults them in the night, to having Patrik sneak out to steal some drink and nose about the house before being caught, the receptionist at the police station, up to the parking ticket ending with Goran being charged for being overly aggressive when he is frustrated. It’s all played quite tongue in cheek and the comedy still plays quite well even after a decade!
As things progress we start to see homophobia from the kids in the neighbourhood be directed at Patrik as well, because even being seen with a queer person seems to make people guilty by association. And this is still an issue we have at times where people try to automatically assume that if you are male and hanging out with gay men then you also have to be gay! It’s one of those tired assumptions people need to retire several decades ago!
Eventually we get confirmation from social services that this is the only Patrik and they are willing to exempt the couple from this adoption and Patrik will be sent back to the housing facility instead. He freaks out at this and runs off so Goran goes after him and they all go home to mull over this situation. Unfortunately Sven is not taking things well, being super stressful and now basically hiding out at work or always being drunk, so with this development he runs away (and we assume leaves Goran). Now although I initially dislike Sven for doing this, I do wonder if there has been traumatic incidents in his past with homophobia or other crimes where he just can’t feel settled at this latest change, especially since it has been thrust upon him so suddenly. It's not to excuse how he handles it, but just wondering if there is more to his side of how he is feeling than he discusses with us that would be better solved through more dialogue with his partner.
Goran takes Patrik out to shop for gardening supplies since he has been asked to assist with the neighbours gardens, and we do start to get a bit more around Patrik’s past in a glib manner. When the pair come home, we see that Sven has come back and is asleep on the couch. When he and Goran talk, he says he is willing to come home but has two demands to do so, 1) Wanting to know how long the thug will be with them and 2) Wants a formal apology. It’s a bit rich to storm out and then come back demanding people apologise to you without being willing to recognise you might also need to apologise for your actions. It’s also interesting to see that even though we know this child is in the foster system for a reason and needs a supportive environment, Sven chooses to only refer to him as the thug, to try and dehumanise him to make it sit right that he can just throw this person back into the system.
Sven is told to leave, which I think it's really admirable of Goran to do to put Patrik first in this case. Like most parents, Goran is putting the needs of the child ahead of what may be easiest since we know Patrik will be at risk of suicide if he has to go back in care and needs someone to try and provide a stable, caring environment for him. Goran is obviously still hurt though that his relationship has broken down, so Patrik does make an olive branch offering of going running together and starts to open up around how he seems to be a trigger of bad things ever since his mother died in front of him and he had to wait 24 hours to be found. It’s upsetting to hear and obviously that early childhood trauma starts to explain some of the rash actions he has taken growing up leading him to being a young offender.
It's a tender moment for the film and really shows how all the parts of our childhood can affect us and the actors for both Goran and Patrik knock it out the park on letting us believe this bond is developing between those two relative strangers. And with each of these tender moments we get, we also balance this out with further comedy with interactions between Isa, Sven’s ex-wife, and Goran where she mentions how Sven is an idiot for leaving and that he cheated on her for 6 months before, which she has to remind Goran it was with him. Again, the performances between these two actors also feels believable as people growing closer together because of their shared connection with a previous lover.
While the two are now living together, we slowly see the positive impacts this has on Patrik’s life as the neighbourhood kids stop insulting him and want to learn skateboard tricks off him, he opens up more about his 10 years of being in the social care system, and he now has part-time job of helping with the gardens around the neighbourhood. It’s really amazing the change parents can have on their kids when they provide a safe space to slowly work through their trauma and allow those kids to be themselves and if we give children the room to grow as people and learn from their mistakes, they can almost seem like a different person at times.
Not to say it’s all plain sailing though since the neighbours are still thinking prehistorically what with women saying its a shame Goran is so good looking and gay cause its a waste (urg that saying!) or the parent that freaks out when a gay doctor is giving his son a vaccination (cause clearly every gay man in a room with a child is a peadophile and not just trying to do their damn job!). The worst of these is Lennart who has Patrik over doing the gardening and chats to Goran, saying he had a similar situation with a Polish maid who came over on Wednesdays that was easy on the eye. We obviously get the hints here that because Goran is living alone with this younger, twink looking male that they must be fucking cause why would a straight teenger be safe alone with a gay older male. Its rank homophobia, not to mention Lennart being a dick who is happy to admit wanting to cheat on his wife since we are led to believe there is no open relationship there, and so I am glad when he gets beat up by Goran when he tries to leave with Patrik. He totally deserves a punch in the face for his misogynistic and homophobic comments and its frustrating that its the automatic assumption people will have when a younger man is living in the same house as an older gay man. People can live together without fucking, trust me, I have the lived experience to prove it!
Goran eventually comes to the decision to try and adopt Patrik as a single parent, after they have spent time getting to know each other and engaging in activities together. Patrik is fine with this decision since he now knows Goran and has started to challenge his previously held homophobic thoughts. It’s that classic idea of homophobic people not understanding there is a person behind the word ‘gay’ and that when they spend time with a gay person, they will realise some of their previous ideas were wrong. This doesn’t cover all homophobes obviously, but it is a key thing we see when people have differences and just haven’t taken time to know each other and see there is more that connects us than divides us.
Social services say that since the application was made as a couple, if he wants to adopt Patrik now then its a completely new application process which again sounds just like bureaucracy for the fun of it, but there is some logic to why this is needed to ensure the best placement for the child. Yet when they return to do so, there is now a family, or as they slightly dig in the homophobia again an “ordinary family”, that are willing to take Patrik on a trial period. So our hopes are dashed at this time and Patrik does try to turn this into a silver lining moment with Goran talking about how when they bumped into Sven there may still be a chance for them to get back together so it's maybe good that Patrik goes. It again shows us just how far Patrik has come from his previous hate speech against the pair to now wanting what's best for them as he has slowly come to bond with Goran and see the person behind the label.
We do get a bit of a cruel trick played on us near the end of the film where Sven comes round to collect his things, and just when we think they might get back together we have another man come in to help with the removal. We can see the pain for Goran as he realises the chance for making up has passed and he accepts this as Sven drives away. Only for him to come back after a few minutes of us feeling the pain of them not getting back together! It was cruel to do that, but actually did help me realise that although I thought Sven was being over-reactive and a dick earlier, I did want them both to be happy as characters in the end.
It is a sad sight of the taxi coming to pick up Patrik to take him to his new home, especially since we even see Sven finally growing and trying to bond a bit before it is time to leave. And so, Patrik goes to his new family and everyone is left a little bit deflated as we were hoping it was all going to work out. Yet we soon get a glimpse of sometime later, with a taxi arriving with Patrik coming to visit. Here he lets us know that although it is a nice family, he won’t stay since he still really wants a dog and they don’t want one. We then have Sven building that bridge between them mentioning how they were thinking of getting a dog, and they leave us with this optimistic happy ending!
And just in case you weren’t sure of what happened after the end of the film, we have the credits rolling over additional footage showing Goran, Sven, the dog, and Patrik running with Isabelle stumbling behind them. We therefore get the vibe that everything worked out in the end with Patrik being adopted and Isabelle did feel more comfortable with her dad's new family as time passed and she had time to process it all. I think it’s great when we do have these pieces of queer media that end positively for the characters, as it shows we can all have happy endings no matter who we are!